My Ex-Girlfriend is a Lesbian… And I’m Thrilled

My Ex-Girlfriend is a Lesbian… And I’m Thrilled

Recently, a few months ago, my serious girlfriend and I ended our relationship of a little over a year. Although she was openly bisexual leaning towards women, it didn’t factor into our loving relationship nor to its demise. After realizing that we are not completely compatible she made the rational decision that we shouldn’t date anymore, and I of course followed suit. Our break up was very amicable so we decided to remain close friends. A few days later, we met for coffee and she shared that after some space to think, she is a lesbian. My initial response was joy. She then shared that I played a big part in her discovering that she is a lesbian. When I heard that I sincerely felt the utmost happiness and fulfillment. I helped someone I deeply love discover herself. The different responses I have heard from many of my friends made me want to share my story.

The social norms that shape our minds along with definitions of romantic and platonic relationships give us a false pretense of what fruitful connections can be like. Literature, films, and run of the mill experiences often paints a picture of romantic love turning into hate. There are conversations of friendship post romance which usually means the broken couple at best can occasionally communicate and awkwardly share the space of social gatherings with minimal shifty glances from mutual friends. Such renditions have left me confused in the past and after experiencing the end of such a serious relationship, I am left flabbergasted at the state of how many relationships end. The transition from a romantic to a platonic relationship between my ex-girlfriend and me was so smooth that I have come to understand that there was no transition at all. It’s not that I loved her, it’s that I love her. Whether or not we are bound in a co-dependent understanding of life doesn’t effect the way I feel for her well-being. I still provide love through friendship in a different context but with the same eagerness. We were planning a future together and now we talk about our separate futures, giving each other advice about the women we hope to find. We still visit bars together as friends but now we swap stories about hot women we meet and share pick up tactics from two different gender perspectives. Finally, we still visit lesbian events at the infamous Church Street in Toronto with our lesbian and bisexual friends as we always did, but now as two single individuals ready to frolic about pumping our fists to her potential hook ups.

The previous point raises just as much eyebrows as hearing how happy I am about my role in my ex’s realization. Since I have many lesbian and bisexual friends I am often invited to lesbian nights at gay bars. When I was with her, we would go and always have a great time dancing and drinking without the excess of creepy men hitting on her when I turn around to chat with a friend. Through our experiences she was able to see how normalized same sex encounters are in many circles, including my circle of friends. I have always showed absolute love and respect for friends that engage in same sex relationships and also support for them when some individuals or groups treat their relationship from an outdated, ignorant perspective. She told me that most importantly, I opened her eyes her a new world, where she was able to understand how she identifies by visualizing it. The way I conduct myself also proved the support that gays and lesbians get from loving friends. Our encounters with the LGBTQ community was common throughout our relationship and it had no effect to the love we had and have for each other. After our amicable discontinuation she was able to contemplate her sexual orientation without the weight of being involved with a boyfriend. Within just a week after we broke up, I was able to see the excitement and fulfillment in her eyes with accepting her sexual orientation. 

The relationship and how it ended was a hell of an experience for both of us. I learned that previous romantic relationships can be fruitful platonic ones, as long as the couple understands that love does not have to be lumped in to the romantic and platonic dichotomy that consumes our culture. I learned that if you love someone, helping their self discovery is the most rewarding feeling that you can experience. Also swapping hook up stories with your ex is just as fun and hilarious as anyone could expect. I can proudly say that my ex-girlfriend is a lesbian, and I couldn’t be happier. 

*Proof read, revised, and approved by my ex-girlfriend.

You Are All Sheeple!

To all the sheeple out there that want to pick at our enlightened souls, the evidence is out there and it’s absolutely conclusive. All vaccines are ridden with autism inducing chemicals. In Canada this problem is reasonably feasible considering that the government, while paying for health care, wants to infect the entire nation and burden the education system and health care system with accommodations for autistic children for generations to come, all to satisfy the sages of the illuminati corporate monsters that laugh at the masses while sipping on their fine thousand year old carbon dated whiskey, safe and guarded by their jet powered bubbles that orbit the planet. Now that that’s out the way, let’s examine the theme of my post: the word “sheeple.” It’s bad enough that bootylicious and selfie have made it to the Oxford dictionary. Do we really need another miserably invalid word wedged between sheepish and sheepshank? First, the very sound of the word is awkward and seems incorrect while used in the singular form, as it often is used. As the word combines sheep and people, to attack a person by calling them a “sheeple” is calling one person a sheep people. Perhaps the conspiracy theorists need to come up with a singular version of the word like sheepson or sherpson, but that of course sounds ridiculous.

The second problem I have is the ontological error with the word. The word was coined to point out that its users are separate from the hoi polloi that are ill informed about the very reality that they are supposedly walking through. As more and more people become enlightened and shed their fleece, the enlightened theorists grow in numbers and the ignorant masses shrink in size. The few-to-many relation of the word coupled with its implied hope for change renders a trajectory that results in either equal part relations or many-to-few relations of enlightened people and sheeple, respectfully. If the so-called enlightened ones surpass the size of the ignorant, “sheeple” loses its very essence. The word itself seems to trap itself in an ontological error.

Finally, I have a concern of etiquette with the popular use of the word. Perhaps it’s just the pompous prick inside of me, but as soon as someone spews the word out of their keyboard and on to their Facebook page, their point loses its validity in my eyes. The reason for this is that most often the word is a response for someone either disproving a conspiracy theory or asking the one that proposed the theory for evidence that comes from a feasible source. Rejecting the conspiracy theorist’s conclusions with the use of logic or evidence that seems more compelling, almost always ignites the now infamous schoolyard shriek: “you are a sheeple!” A response of this nature is simply in bad taste. If you want to convince others of a theory or narrative, constantly reply with sentiments charged with evidence or reason. Use eloquence and wit if you need to silence an ignorant automaton. Let’s put “sheeple” to sleep once and for all. Then, we can move on and opposing collectives can argue and learn from each other, with style and grace.

If You Are Not a Feminist, You Are a Bigot

If you are not a feminist, you are a bigot. Perhaps a claim that seems a little staunch for the average reader, however, I am indeed a staunch feminist myself. The path that led me to identify as a feminist, a male feminist, is one that began with understanding what feminism prima facie actually means. Before I explore the terminology, I need to begin with the one presupposition that is at the heart of my aforementioned claim. I think that bigotry of all forms is not only morally reprehensible, but also a breach of taste. Prejudice statements or attitudes toward a person or group of people, is by definition a judgment of one’s character, without examining the content of their character. Prejudice extended to race, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, or gender are all forms of bigotry. To judge someone’s character before understanding the content of their character, as a bigot does, is a mark on the character of the one that is judging. Further, these attitudes or statements are distasteful, therefore, as stated, bigotry is morally reprehensible and distasteful.

My attitude towards feminism was negative when I was young teen. I had been subject to the socially constructed world that we are all subject to, and my mind was spoiled with images and attitudes that displayed women as a lesser gender, compared to men. Although I never looked at women as lesser gender, these images and attitudes led me to believe that men and women are to be looked at (judged) differently. Although men and women are undeniably biologically different, things that are to be considered or judged are things like one’s moral disposition, or one’s capacity to perform certain tasks, whether physical or intellectual, or one’s interests in certain activities or ideas. These are the judgements we make when we form personal and professional relationships with others. We make these judgements when considering whether someone is fit for a certain position in a company. We make these judgements when forming friendships with others. These judgments ought not to be infected with any form of bigotry. We must presuppose equality before examining one’s character.

After my realization of equality, I still had a negative attitude towards feminism because I believed that it was an idea that promoted female superiority. So I found myself in a pickle. I wanted to promote equality, dismiss male chauvinism, and dismiss female superiority as well, since female superiority is just reverse bigotry. I then considered why feminism is named as it is. It is a call to promote women, because historically women were the oppressed in a world that divided men and women. The men ruled, so to achieve equality, women were to be promoted to reach the power, respect, and integrity that was assumed upon men. As we come closer to the goal of gender equality, the name feminism is prima facie still merely a call for equality. I say prima facie because feminism, when studied deeply, does come in array of shades and colours. I will not discuss different types of feminism today although it is topic to be explored.

Now as one that wants to promote gender equality, I’m fit to call myself a feminist. As one that is disgusted by bigotry, I call myself a staunch feminist. If you are not a feminist, you accept the falsehood of inequality of men and women. You are dismissing a doctrine that merely asks us all to judge people not by their gender, but by the content of their character. By definition, if you are not a feminist, you are in fact a bigot.